Sunday, June 8, 2008

copywriters can be suckers, too


A middle-aged woman with luminous skin sold me a plate of wheatgrass at a farmer's market today. I was seduced by her sales pitch. And, of course, her luminous skin.

It was a dinner plate of soil from which grass was growing. How do you eat it, I wanted to know. She pulled out a scissors and took some off the top. Snip, snip, snip, like she was cutting hair. She gave me a wad of grass that I chewed, like cud. At first it tasted bitter, then very sweet and left an aftertaste that was not unpleasant.

As I chewed, I read a laminated laser-printed sign elucidating the benefits of wheatgrass ingestion:
--improves the digestive system!
--prevents cancer, diabetes and heart disease!
--cures constipation!
--detoxitfys heavy metals from blood!
-- makes menopause manageable!

I'll take some, I said. It was $9 a plate. Which seemed a bit steep for a plate of grass. But her skin was luminous.

"Bring the dish back next week, would you?" the woman said sweetly, as if she were handing me a neighborly plate of homecooking instead of selling me soil-- $392,040 an acre.

7 comments:

Studio Maven said...

Wheat grass (juice) is like mowing the lawn with your face.

Auntie Christ said...

Moo.

Joker said...

Agree with maven and auntie and I would like to add... when I saw a person have a wheatgrass shot at Jamba Juice I was torn between disgust and hysterical laughter because they paid about $4 for a thimble full. Wow..... you gotta love trends and the ensuing comedy.

Rob Buccino said...

Next they'll be selling us what they fertilize the wheatgrass with.

dearjanesample said...

$9 for a plate of grass ... that is hilarious!

Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising said...

Thanks for the solidarity. FYI....a few days later, soil riddled with some sort of white fungus...have to throw out. So much for purified blood and manageable menopause...not to mention $9.

Auntie Christ said...

Can't you get the same amount of vitamins and minerals from spinach or collards or dandelion greens or......