Tuesday, October 13, 2009

because it's after midnight, i'm on deadline and in need of diversion

From (where else) The Onion comes a list of 26 real titles from old movies, shorts, and cartoons that wouldn’t fly today. "The Gay Shoe Clerk" is a short made in 1903. Its riveting plot summary (in case you don't have 1 minute 19 seconds to spare): A woman being fitted for shoes exposes her ankle to the shoe clerk, who is intrigued. He kisses her, but her chaperone hits him with her umbrella. 25 other un-PC titles listed below. To remind us we've come a long way, baby. Ahem.



1. The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse (1938)
2. “Billion Dollar Boner” (1960)
3. “Don’t Get Gay With Your Manicure!” (1903)
4. The Bank Dick (1940)
5. “Pussy Willie” (1929)
6. “The Boob Detective” (1914)
7. Three Nuts For Cinderella (1973)
8. “On The Knocker” (1963)
9. Dandy Dick (1935)
10. “Oh, What A Boob!” (1913)
11. “Burlesque Cock Fight” (1903)
12. “The Gay Shoe Clerk” (1903)
13. “Bush Doctor” (1954)
14. “Beaver Trouble” (1951)
15. “A Boob For Luck” (1915)
16. The Gay Divorcee (1934)
17. “The Boob’s Nemesis” (a.k.a. “Nuts Nuts”) (1914)
18. “The Hairy Ainus” (1913)
19. “Dick Wakes Up” (1954)
20. “Three Arabian Nuts” (1951)
21. “Boobs In The Woods” (1925)
22. “Jim Post, The Great Facial Comedian, And His Troubles” (1903)
23. “Two Nuts In A Rut” (1948)
24. “The Coming Of Sophie’s ‘Mama’” (1914)
25. “Pimple Gets The Hump” (1915)
26. Death Race 2000 (1975)

hat tip to Michael Czyzniejewski

1 comment:

geo said...

Actually, "The Bank Dick" was probablu WC Fields' best movie. Of course, it is rife with innuendo--that was Fields. It is absolutely hysterical and well-worth a viewing.