Wednesday, February 9, 2011

copywriter demos creative chops on craigslist

Genius. A job-seeking copywriter in Atlanta, Travis Broyles, resorted to Craigslist to promote his skills with SEO-gold headline "I Do Anything." Unfortunately, the ad's been flagged for removal but Agency Spy preserved its contents for the edification of ad grads who ought to know what they're up against. Guess Travis missed this recent appeal for "professional US copywriter" to rewrite Craigslist ads. But based on the copy sample below, Travis is worth way more than the promised $5/500 words.
My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.
Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:
Write your new theme song
Perform your new theme song on your voicemail
Spin until I throw up or you lose interest
Rename your Pokémon
Host a conference call with you and a person that you’ve always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?
12 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $50:
Break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Help you quit smoking (I’ll call you every day for a month and yell “HEY DON’T SMOKE”)
Tell the person you like that you think they’re cute and what if you had sex together?
Try my best to fly in a public place for an hour
Make you a really great profile picture
1 hour of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100:
Tell your kids which one is actually your favorite, and what the others could do to improve their standings
Fight someone much smaller or girl than me
Email you a list of 250 things I like about you (need access to any and all social network accounts)
Clean most of your house and apologize for the things I didn’t
Deliver 5 fully cooked DiGiorno pizzas right to your door (5 mile radius from my home)
2 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $1,000:
Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, i.e. human being auction)
Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family
Rename your children
Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it
Star treatment for a month (I’ll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)
20 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100,000:
Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life
Change my political and spiritual leanings
Screen all your phone calls for five years
Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs)
84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE*

If interested, email me at travis.broyles@gmail.com.

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like “Oh, after you’re done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?” but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

8 comments:

White Mountains said...

Clever guy. Somebody should hire him.

California Girl said...

Helen, this comment has nothing to do with your post.

As an advtsg copywriter, creative guru, I thought you might want to share this perspective on the GM ad for Detroit, played during the SB. This is a very interesting POV from a native from Michigan:

http://ruthie822.blogspot.com/2011/02/different-kind-of-uprising.html

Andy Jukes said...

Yeah, Helen. I mean, geez.

Kym Hamer said...

That is hilarious...talk about attention grabbing...does anyone know if he got himself hired?

Thomas Johnson said...

Holy hell, this is amazing. I kinda wish I'd thought of this first, it'd save me from kicking myself in the ass for not having the foresight....lol.

Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising said...

Belated thanks to all, for reading and weighing in. Sorry for delayed reaction. Much to waylay my blogging intentions lately.

Thanks @California Girl for turning me onto native Detroit-er's poignant response to Superbowl ad.

"When the Super Bowl ad titled "Imported from Detroit" played, a miracle happened. I could feel the city down the road rising up from its nearly burnt out forging fires..."

Post in entirety--> http://ruthie822.blogspot.com/2011/02/different-kind-of-uprising.html

Philip said...

I chuckled good enuff reason to post, in my discursive tangent chasing tiny mind.
Amy @dearpersonalgrocer@blogspot

Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising said...

Glad it gave you a chuckle, Amy :)