from actual conversations in real life

Upon paying too much for a suit for a one-time event, a friend says, "Oh, well. Now I have something to wear to my funeral. Although after the ceremony, I'd like to be redressed in fuzzy PJs and socks."

I tell her to pack a bag and I'll ride with the casket. Unless I precede her.

"I hope I'll precede YOU!" she says, emphatically. Which is sweet, I think, until she adds, "Because I think you'll say something really great at my service and I am sorry I'm gonna miss it!"