Sunday, November 16, 2008

and speaking of hatchets, buy now while supplies last

As if reports of worldwide doom and gloom weren't depressing enough, this alarming list is making the rounds: The First 100 Items to Disappear in a Panic. (Hatchets are #26.) First circulated in '99, during millennium mania. Supposedly, it's compiled by a war survivor from Sarajevo, whose addendum does make it sound pretty convincing. But I'm hoping it's a merely a ploy by marketers at Amazon to incite a run on its languishing inventory. (Studies show ad practitioners are predominantly optimists.)

100 Items to Disappear First in a Panic

1. Generators (Good ones cost dearly. Gas storage, risky. Noisy...target of thieves; maintenance etc.)
2. Water Filters/Purifiers
3. Portable Toilets
4. Seasoned Firewood. Wood takes about 6 - 12 months to become dried, for home uses.
5. Lamp Oil, Wicks, Lamps (First Choice: Buy CLEAR oil. If scarce, stockpile ANY!)
6. Coleman Fuel. Impossible to stockpile too much.
7. Guns, Ammunition, Pepper Spray, Knives, Clubs, Bats & Slingshots.
8. Hand-can openers, & hand egg beaters, whisks.
9. Honey/Syrups/white, brown sugar
10. Rice - Beans - Wheat
11. Vegetable Oil (for cooking) Without it food burns/must be boiled etc.,)
12. Charcoal, Lighter Fluid (Will become scarce suddenly)
13. Water Containers (Urgent Item to obtain.) Any size. Small: HARD CLEAR PLASTIC ONLY - note - food grade if for drinking.
14. Mini Heater head (Propane) (Without this item, propane won't heat a room.)
15. Grain Grinder (Non-electric)
16. Propane Cylinders (Urgent: Definite shortages will occur.
17. Survival Guide Book.
18. Mantles: Aladdin, Coleman, etc. (Without this item, longer-term lighting is difficult.)
19. Baby Supplies: Diapers/formula. ointments/aspirin, etc.
20. Washboards, Mop Bucket w/wringer (for Laundry)
21. Cookstoves (Propane, Coleman & Kerosene)
22. Vitamins
23. Propane Cylinder Handle-Holder (Urgent: Small canister use is dangerous without this item)
24. Feminine Hygiene/Haircare/Skin products.
25. Thermal underwear (Tops & Bottoms)
26. Bow saws, axes and hatchets, Wedges (also, honing oil)
27. Aluminum Foil Reg. & Heavy Duty (Great Cooking and Barter Item)
28. Gasoline Containers (Plastic & Metal)
29. Garbage Bags (Impossible To Have Too Many).
30. Toilet Paper, Kleenex, Paper Towels
31. Milk - Powdered & Condensed (Shake Liquid every 3 to 4 months)
32. Garden Seeds (Non-Hybrid) (A MUST)
33. Clothes pins/line/hangers (A MUST)
34. Coleman's Pump Repair Kit
35. Tuna Fish (in oil)
36. Fire Extinguishers (or..large box of Baking Soda in every room)
37. First aid kits
38. Batteries (all sizes...buy furthest-out for Expiration Dates)
39. Garlic, spices & vinegar, baking supplies
40. Big Dogs (and plenty of dog food)
41. Flour, yeast & salt
42. Matches. {"Strike Anywhere" preferred.) Boxed, wooden matches will go first
43. Writing paper/pads/pencils, solar calculators
44. Insulated ice chests (good for keeping items from freezing in Wintertime.)
45. Workboots, belts, Levis & durable shirts
46. Flashlights/LIGHTSTICKS & torches, "No. 76 Dietz" Lanterns
47. Journals, Diaries & Scrapbooks (jot down ideas, feelings, experience; Historic Times)
48. Garbage cans Plastic (great for storage, water, transporting - if with wheels)
49. Men's Hygiene: Shampoo, Toothbrush/paste, Mouthwash/floss, nail clippers, etc
50. Cast iron cookware (sturdy, efficient)

(next fifty after the jump. But how can duct tape be so low on the list? Remember how hard it was to find after 9/11?)

3 comments:

BrioII said...

If you are worried about your dental floss being in short supply, look at www.gripit.biz. This handy device comes with a years supply of floss - 200 yards.

Catnip Intoxicating said...

I am surprised to see toilet paper low on the list. My friend in VA would tell me that people would go nuts buying the toilet paper if there was any hint of snow.

My ex boyfriend had "Texas Toast" stolen right from him cart during one of those "storm scares".

People go nuts buying snow shovels. What happened to their snow shovel from last year?

Ad Broad, oldest working writer in advertising said...

@brioii Thanks for the tip. Curiously, floss is identified under "Men's Hygiene" and a lowly 49 on the list. Maybe in an apocolypse women use toothpicks instead?

@catnip intoxicating (great name) You're def. right about TP. In the addendum (after the jump) list compiler adds "there is no luxury in war quite like toilet paper. Its surplus value is greater than gold's." Good call on the snow shovel, too. It should definitely be on there. Now where the heck did we put the dang thing...