Showing posts with label Agency Spy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Agency Spy. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

copywriter demos creative chops on craigslist

Genius. A job-seeking copywriter in Atlanta, Travis Broyles, resorted to Craigslist to promote his skills with SEO-gold headline "I Do Anything." Unfortunately, the ad's been flagged for removal but Agency Spy preserved its contents for the edification of ad grads who ought to know what they're up against. Guess Travis missed this recent appeal for "professional US copywriter" to rewrite Craigslist ads. But based on the copy sample below, Travis is worth way more than the promised $5/500 words.
My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.
Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:
Write your new theme song
Perform your new theme song on your voicemail
Spin until I throw up or you lose interest
Rename your Pokémon
Host a conference call with you and a person that you’ve always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?
12 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $50:
Break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Help you quit smoking (I’ll call you every day for a month and yell “HEY DON’T SMOKE”)
Tell the person you like that you think they’re cute and what if you had sex together?
Try my best to fly in a public place for an hour
Make you a really great profile picture
1 hour of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100:
Tell your kids which one is actually your favorite, and what the others could do to improve their standings
Fight someone much smaller or girl than me
Email you a list of 250 things I like about you (need access to any and all social network accounts)
Clean most of your house and apologize for the things I didn’t
Deliver 5 fully cooked DiGiorno pizzas right to your door (5 mile radius from my home)
2 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $1,000:
Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, i.e. human being auction)
Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family
Rename your children
Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it
Star treatment for a month (I’ll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)
20 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100,000:
Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life
Change my political and spiritual leanings
Screen all your phone calls for five years
Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs)
84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE*

If interested, email me at travis.broyles@gmail.com.

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like “Oh, after you’re done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?” but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

why make it so hard for kids to crash the party?



Attendance was down at the Clios this year, confirmed by Nielsen's Director of Events Karl Vontz who added, sounding upbeat, that the quality of attendees was better--meaning that those able to wangle expenses from lean travel departments were execs higher on agency hierarchies.

Notably diminished in number were the eager young who swarm shows, making no secret they're trying to jump levels or jump shop.

One junior team came at their own expense--which didn't include the price of the $1550+ tickets. A freelance writer and AD from San Francisco anointed themselves "Crash the Clios."

"Why are we doing this," they asked on their blog. (Of course--they had a blog.) Because no one is going to send us... because it’s the 50th anniversary... because we feel all you need in advertising to make it is cojones and a good story. Truth was, they were there for the same reason many others were: to make connections that could lead to work.

At first, their attempts to infiltrate were thwarted by hotel security. The show was held at the Hard Rock Hotel, host to Rehab TV shoots for which security is tantamount to training for the old KGB. But thanks to intervention of Agency Spy, they managed to procure passes and spent the next couple of days live-tweeting, milling about and generally contributing to conversation.

My question is--why were they so resented? When Agency Spy posted about their presence, comments ranged from nasty: The last things creatives want to do at award shows is meet eager people looking for a job to vitriolic: Rather than sending some naive kids into the clios to pester folks who paid good money to be there, howsabout going and doing YOUR damn job and getting us the skinny on what's happening out there?


Have we become the type of business that eats its young? OK, financial investing in the next generation may be a thing of the past (remember paid internships and executive training sessions?) but a word of advice or encouragement costs nothing--yet proves invaluable to those launching careers. Remember?

Did the reaction have to do with a new meanspiritedness on Madison Avenue that Alan Wolk observed recently? Or did people unconsciously feel they were doing a favor by imparting the lesson most needed to succeed in this business: overcoming rejection.
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UPDATE--DISCLOSURE
Crash the Clios Team comes out of hiding to disclose contact info. (Now that they're safely back in SF and no longer in fear of retribution by Hard Rock security goons.) Good luck to art director Patrice Speed and copywriter Christopher Ryan. Hope your ingenuity and chutzpah pays off in card keys.