life is short people. punctuation matters.

A message went out this morning over the twitter network:

 Sad about Newman. Life is short people.

It is sad that Paul Newman died. But⎯life is short people? (Although being a short person myself, I was kind of flattered.)

Sure, grammar protocol is changing to adapt to new ways of communication--remember when polite email started with the same salutation as a letter on bond stationary? But no matter how truncated our communication becomes, punctuation will always matter. Why? Because those tiny little dots and dashes and curls contain the power to transform the meaning of words. And, though this may surprise some art directors who consider them decorative, punctuation marks are not interchangeable. A comma, for instance cannot do the work of a colon. And vice versa:

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Punctuation can even impact high finances, as Canada’s largest telecommunications company learned. An attorney for Rogers Communications misplaced a comma in a contract with a company that agreed to install Rogers's cables across the Maritimes. Because of that errant squiggle, a Canadian court invalidated what was believed to be an ironclad five-year contract, costing Rogers $2.13 million. (The "Great Comma" ruling was later reversed by a judge who was presumably less of a grammarian.)

OK, I'm a grammar geek, but there are others out there far more zealous than I am. For instance, Jeff Rubin. He's a former newspaperman who was so alarmed that "punctuation is being devalued by a generation of computer wizards" that he went to the trouble of creating National Punctuation Day. You may not have noticed that it celebrated its fifth anniversary on Wednesday. There's a website, of course, and what most interests me on it is that every mention of the holiday is followed by ®. One little mark that contains a whole sentence: Steal my brilliant idea and I'll sue your pants off.

superbowl for grammarians

A few weeks ago, teams of linguists, lexicographers and etymologists faced off in Chicago to determine the American Dialect Society's annual Word of the Year. Among nominations for 2007's most notable new word or phrase:

connectile dysfunction -inability to gain or maintain a connection

bacn -impersonal email such as alerts, newsletters, and
automated reminders that are nearly as annoying as
spam but which one has chosen to receive.

Googlegänger -a person with your name who shows up when you google yourself.

Happy Kwanhanamas! [Kwanza + Hanukka + Christmas] -Happy holidays!

NINJA -real estate term describing mortgage candidate with no income, no job or assets.

quadriboobage -appearance of having four breasts caused by wearing a brassiere that is too small.

tapafication -tendency of restaurants to serve food in many small portions

toe-tapper -a homosexual. From Senator Larry Craig's experience last June in a public restroom.

vegansexual -a person who eats no meat, uses no animal-derived goods and prefers not to have sex with non-vegans.

If I'd had a vote, I would have opted for wrap rage which means anger brought on by the frustration of trying to open a factory-sealed purchase.

But the word most compelling to grammarians was subprime- used to describe a risky or poorly documented loan or mortgage.

Last year's winner was pluto (to be plutoed means to be demoted or devalued) which somehow prevailed over lactard, a person who is lactose-intolerant.

In 2005, it was truthiness (what one wishes to be the truth regardless of facts) although nominations included tantalizing choices like whale-tail (the appearance of thong or g-string underwear above the waistband) and crotchfruit (a child or children.)

Full accounts of past winners and nominations can be found on the Society’s website. In case you're in need of random distractions before kickoff.

[thanks to the lingual vigilance of visualthesaurus and grammar-geek Ellen]