lost in translation

The teenaged daughter of a friend just left for Nice where she'll be staying with a French family in a homestay program. (Oh, to live the life our kids do!)

The homestay family kindly emailed to ask if there were any rules they should abide by.

My friend doesn't speak French, but her ex-husband does, and, after discussion with her, he wrote a letter explaining their parenting customs. Unsure of his grammar, and a busy man, he wrote the letter in English, then put it through Google Translator to get the French version. This he sent to the homestay parents, cc'd to my friend.

My friend, eager to read the letter, re-Googled it to translate the French back to English. And was amused to discover her ex--(a professor of English)--sounding like someone who can't pass TOEFEL.

Please do not hesitate to ask a question about Katie once she arrives. Please do not count on it for information on what his parents do or not do it! You can get a bending of truth to meet their needs. I think you understand a parent yourself. Katie is a very nice girl and

Like many teenagers Katie likes to sleep late and at home, we need to tell him to wake up! I think it will be better on the behaviour with you!

sorry, busy in the nonvirtual world

Apologies for recent lack of posts. (Do hope you've noticed!) Teenaged daughter just left for two months in China. Tai jian, Babe. Travel safe, safe, safe.

monkeys, the new babies

Baby as status symbol? So last millennium. More and more people are going for monkeys. Monkeys let you enjoy many of the good aspects about raising kids without the bad: monkeys never stop looking adorable, never whine, never require massive outlays of tuition. Even as teenagers, they wear whatever cute outfit you dress them in: superman capes, frilly dresses, holiday formalwear. (Designer of trendy monkey fashions now has a web site!)

Some people acquire monkeys when they can't adopt babies. For others, it's about filling an empty nest. "I was lonely and depressed after my youngest left home," says a Florida mom who dotes on "monkid" Jessica Marie: dresses her in flippy skirts, treats her to McDonald's, gives her her own leash to help walk the dog. (See disconcerting video here.)

According to the national Humane Society, 15,000 monkeys are being raised by human parents. But that number is low, they estimate, because so many people keep monkeys illegally. Monkeys are outlawed as pets in 20 states. (They're legal in New York, but illegal in New York City--darn!)

Of course, raising monkeys isn't for everyone. Warns a devoted monkey-dad, "Having a monkey means you will be making many sacrifices. It will be difficult to go on vacations. And it is very hard to find a person that will monkey sit."

Not to mention that potty training is probably out. Media monkey for Huggies? You might want to consider a new buy: Monkey Matters.