Thursday, January 3, 2008

what george bush and i now have in common

Only one ad blogger (hello, George) is likely to be personally acquainted with the medical procedure I was introduced to this morning, just one of the many joys you have to look forward to after your (count em) fiftieth birthday party. I’ll spare you the details. But one thing they say about colonoscopy is true: the prep is worse than the actual procedure. All I could eat yesterday was plain jello (not red, why?) and an all-liquid diet defined as liquids you can read through (fyi, the list includes vodka) followed by, for dinner, a sadistic cocktail (jeroboam size) of straight Gatorade mixed with something called Miralax. (don’t ask) The exam itself is pretty benign, the worst part being the injection of anesthetic. (Anesthesia is the reason Cheney was president for 21 minutes.) Now, count yourself lucky if you get anesthetic. If you’re insured by Aetna, you’re at the mercy of the only insurance company that deems anesthesia unnecessary, an exclusion that even Medicare doesn’t stoop to. I felt a bit woozy going into the office today, but not noticeably woozier than my officemates recovering from the long holiday. None of whom have commented on my shiny, new colon.

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